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Author Topic: Starts out with real meaning  (Read 396 times)
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Smallblock bored
« on: June 01, 2005, 03:03:24 PM »

This week in CUP racing brought us one step closer to being BUSCH racing. Integrity and respect seem to have fallen from grace being replaced by impatience and recklessness.
 “Keep a watchful eye as NASCAR tip toes around this, as many, many fans like crashes. So do the owners, it helps keep costs down.”
 Robby Gordon found himself up front in the top 15 after the crazy #9 shredder. After racing hard to get up front his steering broke and he had to park it after the red flag deal. Never mentioned on tely.
 To fix the super fast newly refaced, peeled back, and otherwise finely abraded racing surface at Lowes motor speedway, the Texas tire monster (that failed due to lake of proper engineering) will make a comeback as it will be run nonstop for 72 hours on the lower 1/3rd of the track prior to the next big event.
 Teams will start to exercise a protest right as “tire dipping” is back on the scene. It seems a certain team has discovered that Goodyear has a tire that will eat certain vapors rather than having to be in contact with a liquid. Gummies bleed it off and are used for short term effect.
  This week to help pump interest in the race 12”X12” scorecards will be given to fans to score the fault of the driver in question during crashes. FOX has made a handshake agreement to make a scan of the fans during this and will be sponsored by the National Recycling Foundation and Arbor Day recognition. “Remember folks, if every person in the United States plants one tree every day you will save the life of one wax coated hotdog holder, or our Earth. It’s hard to tell at this point of the game. In any case a little effort can go a long way, not all of us has the time to keep up with the sites of future local land development, go there before the clear cutting begins, dig up the threatened and valuable species, pot them, and then finally replant them with the help of the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, and your local PTA.
 NASCAR sponsors a new program called Kid Gloves Charity Fund. Each week a driver will be voted as the most reckless driver of the week and the safest driver of the week. A small fine will be handed out to that driver with the safest driver donating the funds to his or (soon to be) her charity of choice. The hopes in this is that it will bring recognition to the sport as being a conscientious objector of sorts when it comes to bad sportsmanship. This idea was spawned from the failure to bring about a policy that the wrecker would have to help fix the wrecked.
 All in fun drivers will now be required to submit for prior approval any activity that they may wish to perform at the finish line upon victory. One act is forbidden, that being the drinking of milk from a bottle (of milk). Human sacrifices will be on the BYO theme.
  NASCAR in leaps and bounds takes a major step starting with the network switch to be more like the NFL. In this there will now be instant replay, at which time such things as speeding on pit road can be protested. Currently bugs are being worked out of a plan that will have drivers come back down pit road at the exact speed they were sighted to have been at, to see whether a speeding infraction had actually taken place.
  A few Las Vegas sports books are posting odds as to the possibility that D. W. in his final Cup race of the year will change his Famous B. B. B. let’s go racing boys to something else. The current long shot is “Boogity Boogity Boogity…..let’s go $%(*!@$ racin’ boys” As of 1981 the word Boggity or Boogitie is not in the 1300 page living Webster dictionary in any form.

 NASCAR as any sport has its ups it’s downs,
 Heroes and clowns.
Come on folks, let’s face the facts,
It’s a blast, being at the tracks.
Win the big one, kiss your wife.
A NASCAR driver that’s the life.
Fans are great, the driving force.
Fight over speedways, or a winding coarse.
Anyway you cut it, it’s hard to quit.
This wild wacky world, of NASCAR $#&!
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